An Introduction to Trans Lives In Malaga

A piece of public art in Torremolinos, Malaga. The sign reads: “A ‘great raid’ took place in Pasaje Begona on the 24th of une 1971. More than 300 people were involved, 114 of which were arrested on charges of “violating good morals and manners”. Some people were imprisoned that night and all foreigners arrested were deported. These charges went into their criminal records and those under arrest were threatened to be placed “under police surveillance” with even worse consequences in case of recidivism. This “great raid” was an attack on the Pasaje Begoña, as its venues were shut down forever. But above all, it was an attack on freedom, bringing shame upon the world.” Project supported by Junta de Andalucía: Instituto Andaluz de la Juventud: CONSEJERÍA DE IGUALDAD, POLÍTICAS SOCIALES Y CONCILIACIÓN, JUNTA DE ANDALUCIA Y CONCILIACIÓN, Torremolinos Ayuntamiento y Pasaje Begoña Asociación. Graffiti by Don luso. Photo of artwork: Mattie Baird, June 2023

Please note: The English version of this site/newsletter is translated from Spanish to English using artificial intelligence software (https://www.deepl.com/) Therefore, there may be grammatical errors present.

I did not write to you last week because I have not had time to sit down and write much. Every day has been filled with formal and informal interactions as part of the research. I have already collaborated with over 20 people/entities here in Malaga as part of the project. What I am observing is that there is a lot more LGTBIQ+ culture visible here that is not strictly focused on cis, gay, white and normative men. Most of the people I have already spoken to have told me that yes, LGTBIQ+ spaces, specifically nightlife spaces are still dominated by this part of the LGTBIQ+ collective. However, It is undeniable that there is more of a trans culture here than in Sitges.

This issue highlights some emerging trends in Malaga regarding drag, community, the concept of 'cis passing,' non-binary identities, different perceptions of trans identities between generations, the process of getting a job as a trans person, the medical system and division within the LGTBIQ+ / trans community.

In Andalusia, there seems to be more diversity in the drag community than in most other provinces in Spain (we'll see about Madrid...) Every person I observed in Sitges / Catalonia identified as a travesti. That is, they identify as cis gay men. The drag community in Malaga and Andalusia in general (I have observed drag culture in Cordoba, Granada and other parts of Andalusia as well) has more diversity than that of Sitges, because there are people of many different identities doing drag. For example, there are cis women, trans women, non-binary people and trans men doing drag here. The drag culture is richer because it has many more perspectives than the culture in Sitges. Perhaps the most famous and well-known drag queen in Spain told me in an interview, " I am me. I go between feeling like man, woman, both, neither and other feelings every day." A phenomenon that persists here like in Sitges is the equivocation of drag and transness. As can be seen from Andalucía, there are many trans people who do drag. However, the fact that a person does drag is different from the fact that a person is trans. It is possible for these realities to coexist, but what happens very often is that society thinks that these things are the same - when they are not.

Senses of community have varied greatly with each study participant. However, there are common themes that have emerged in almost every interview. The first thing is life at night. In the Malaga / Torremolinos area, there are many nightclubs and social areas for LGTBIQ+ people. On average, the composition of people in these spaces consists of about 80% people who present as cis gay men. With that, more trans people have told me that they feel comfortable in these spaces than not. One interviewee went so far as to say that she does not feel that LGTBIQ+ spaces are dominated by anyone and that they are inclusive to every person in the community equally (This opinion is not shared among all interviewees.) A fascinating common behavior from my observations of nightlife is that many men in these spaces approach people they perceive as women and dance with them while grinding behind them. Sometimes they ask and in other cases they approach without asking and start dancing. From what I have observed, this only happens between men and people perceived as women. Some other spaces of community among trans people include sports and video games. Multiple interviewees report that they have met other trans people by engaging with these communities. In terms of the representation of the trans community in the popular media, multiple interviewees say that, in general, there is not much representation of their community in the media. The representation that does exist, they say, only shows one type of trans person in the vast majority of cases. Typically, this representation shows a hyper-feminine or hyper-masculine person, and does not show the diversity that exists within the trans community. In addition, there are almost never representations of intersectional trans identities, says one Arab interviewee. Among university students, the experience of being trans is very distinct. One interviewee reports that she has many trans friends and that it is "more or less easy to exist as a trans person at the University of Malaga." This girl's major is Translation and Interpreting. In a conversation with another trans student whose major is Computer Science, she says that she does not have any friendships with other trans people. When asked about the number of trans people known in each career, she reported that the vast majority of known trans people at the university study Translation and Interpretation or Philosophy and Letters. Finally, interviewees who are not currently enrolled at a university report that they do not have friendships with trans people either. We will see if older trans people have friendships with other trans people from interviews scheduled in the coming weeks. Some interviewees told me, "I was really looking forward to meeting you...I've never been able to chat about my experience with another trans person." At the end of each interview, participants have reflected on how much it means to them to talk to another trans person about their experience.

The concept of 'cis-passing' is very prevalent both here and in Sitges. Every trans person who has been part of this study has reflected deeply on this concept. Simply put, 'cis-passing' is something a trans person bears when people cannot distinguish that the person is trans (on the street, for example.) This concept is inherently problematic because it perpetuates the norms of what it means to be a man or woman in this society and leaves no room for people who do not conform to the binary. However, gender and sexuality norms permeate their way into every part of society around them. With this, for many trans people, to be cis-passing is one step towards being free. Participants in this study report that to be cis-passing gives them the opportunity to exist in society without always being asked harmful questions from members of the public. Additionally, many trans people report that, after becoming cis-passing, their mental health increased considerably because society stopped asking them questions every day such as, "Are you a man or a woman?" The experiences of trans people 'before and after' their transitions (itself a problematic concept in some ways, because it implies that every transition has a beginning and end point without giving room for the possibility for people to transition in different phases throughout their life, ...) also give interesting insights... many trans women have reported that they were never expecting to be objectified by men in public spaces nor to be spoken to by men in the way that they are now. One girl said, "Before I transitioned, people always told me about my intelligence, my intellectual capacity, and things like that... very profound things. Now, it's just about how I appear. When you're a woman, to society, you're just pretty." Obviously, trans men have different perspectives, but with similarities. They say that people started talking more about their intellectual/physical strength and masculine appearance and less about the specifics of their bodies.

Non-binary people add a key perspective to the conversation about trans lives. The first thing is that there are some non-binary people who identify as part of the trans community, and others who don't consider themselves trans but still don't feel comfortable with the gender binary. Spanish specifically is a very gendered language. Nearly every 10 words, there is an opportunity for a person to refer to a person in a gendered way. Non-binary people report that this makes their conditions more difficult because when they refer to themselves and use neutral language, people don't understand it and ask many questions. What happens very often is that these people refer to themselves with gendered language so that they are not asked so many intrusive questions. Another issue is how non-binary people navigate sexual encounters. Sometimes, non-binary people who may appear to be cisgender are subject to expectations from their sexual partners to perform a specific role that is associated with the gender that their partner perceives them to be. A non-binary person said a lot about their experiences with girls... "In most cases, girls don't want to compromise. They expect me to compromise because they perceive me as a man when I am not." Within the LGTBIQ+ community and even the trans collective, there are many, many people who do not respect the existence of non-binary people. This leads to dangerous conditions for non-binary people and in many cases puts their mental health in a more risky position.

The majority of study participants who identify as trans report challenges with getting jobs. This trend echoes the perspective of the trans man from Sitges who reported that it has been difficult to get a job as a trans man. A trans girl here in Malaga reports that, especially when she was in the early stages of her transition, interviewing for jobs was very stressful. Instead of thinking about how she could showcase her capabilities to successfully execute the job, she was dwelling on her physical presentation at each interview... "Do I look feminine? Is the person interviewing me perceiving me as I identify? Would I be respected working here as a trans person?" This interviewee continues, "Only when I became cis passing was I able to get a job." The same interviewee continues to reflect on the realities for the transfeminine community with getting a job... "The truth is that it is very difficult to get a job as a trans woman. This is why 90% of trans women do sex work involuntarily... to them, it seems like their only option for survival." There are interviews scheduled with trans men over the coming weeks that will most certainly provide additional insight into their experiences with getting jobs.

Another issue is medical care and the logistical components of one's transition. That is, the process of changing the data on the DNI (national identity card) and getting hormones and gender affirmation surgeries. If a person wants to change the data on their DNI, they must obtain letters of reference from other residents of their province and fill out many forms. After submitting everything, there is a 3 month waiting period before anything else can happen. With medical care, the vast majority of trans people report that it is more or less easy for them to get access to hormones. At the same time, they report that there is a lengthy process to obtain them. They have to undergo a series of medical tests that last a year or so to find out whether their body can handle the hormones. Some people report difficulty in getting the same quality of care during the summer months because many of the clinics are closed during this period. In terms of gender affirming surgeries, participants have reported that there are long waiting lists for vaginoplasties and phalloplasties, while there are not very long waiting lists for breast augmentation. None of these services are very expensive if done through a public provider, participants report, but if you don't want to wait years to have surgery, you have to have it done by a private provider who will charge anywhere from €8,000 - €20,000.

There are many differences among the perspectives of each generation, inside and outside the trans community. Trans students enrolled in university explain that they have been able to have role models to look up to during their transitions, more or less. Some other generations have had to look for role models online and others have had no role models at all. Every college experience is different, but every college interviewee has offered more specific examples of role models of other trans people they have observed during their lifetime, even if it has been a famous historical figure like Cristina Ortiz from the 'La Veneno' series. People who are a few years older than the university students have expressed that they looked for role models online (Youtube, for example) strictly and never found examples of other trans people in their everyday lives without looking for them with a lot of very hard work.

A very complicated issue is the division that exists within the LGTBIQ+ collective and even within the trans collective. An interviewee says that, like any collective, the LGTBIQ+ collective has conflicts within. The main reason for the conflict, says this interviewee, is that "many want to be protagonists." They continue, "In addition, the lack of knowledge within the community is severe." One issue the community often struggles with includes whether labels (such as gay, bisexual, ...) should exist and be used or not. Many people say that these labels perpetuate the de-normalization of LGTBIQ+ identities because to label is to separate LGTBIQ+ people from other people, while other people say that labels give them a sense of identity and community in a world that is still filled with ideology that fights against the freedom of LGTBIQ+ people. Some other issues affect trans people more than anyone else. Society, study participants report, has many opinions about whether or not trans people should have gender affirming surgeries. Some cis people have told trans people that surgeries are not necessary because we must stop associating a person's genitalia with a gender, or that it is mutilation, while others have said that a person is not truly trans if they have not had 'all the surgeries.' Finally, the use of inclusive language in everyday speech is lacking. In 60-75% of interviews with trans women or trans men, they have not used the pronoun 'they' when speaking in a context where they say 'he or she.' Non-binary people report that this causes them a lot of harm because even from within their own collective many people are not truly honoring their identities.

In conclusion, these first few weeks have been full of findings. There wasn't nearly enough space here to even begin to describe them all. Thanks for reading, as always.

Until next week…
Mattie

I'd love to hear from you. You can leave me a message in the comments area below, send me an email (hola@mattiebaird.com) or get in touch through my contact page, which you can find in the navigation panel at the top of any page on the site.